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Re: Joke
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:24 pm
by Karl V
So my wife just said to me "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"
What an odd way to start a conversation...
Re: Joke
Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 12:33 pm
by AlanP
What do you call a woman who shaves her bum?
Anita Harris
Re: Joke
Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:41 pm
by dunny
Practically impossible to follow that one.
However, a drunk staggers into a Catholic church,sits down in a confession box and says nothing.
The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention,but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally,the drunk replies;' No use' knockin' mate,theres no paper in this one either'.
Re: Joke
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 10:09 am
by dunny
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
Told you!
Re: Joke
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:47 pm
by Karl V
What do you call a man with an empty garage while his Nomad is in Crewkerne?
Cranky.
It wasn't meant to be funny...
Re: Joke
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:01 pm
by AlanP
How do you know the woman in 'Jaws' had dandruff?
'Cos she left her Head and Shoulders on the beach.
She was only a footballers daughter, but she sure like her 'uddersfield...
Don't you love the old ones?
A
Re: Joke
Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2019 12:17 pm
by dunny
Yep.
What do the fastest fish in the pond drive?
An Ariel motor-pike and side-char.
Re: Joke
Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:01 pm
by Karl V
The Nomad was broken in to in a multi-storey car park at the weekend.
Wrong on so many levels...
Re: Joke
Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:23 am
by dunny
AN engineer, a system analyst,and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes failed.They screamed down the mountain,gaining speed and finally managed to grind to a halt more by luck than anything else,just inches from a thousand foot - drop onto jagged rocks .
They got out of the car and the engineer said 'I think i can fix it.' The systems analyst said,'No i think we should take it into town and have a specialist look at it.The programmer said,'OK but first i think we should get back in and see if it does it again.
Re: Joke
Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2019 6:16 pm
by Karl V
I'm thinking of getting an Atom 4 for my wife.
A great swap if you ask me!
Re: Joke
Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:22 am
by GraemeW
Re: Joke
Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 10:50 am
by dunny
Why can't you buy Aspirin in a pet shop?
Because the Paracetamol
Re: Joke
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2019 10:45 pm
by Karl V
I used to be addicted to swimming, but I'm proud to announce that I have been dry for 2 months now.
Re: Joke
Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:26 am
by AlanP
Old but I love it.
Turn the volume up to hear it properly.
A
Re: Joke
Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2019 3:40 pm
by GraemeW
OMG Alan. Nearly soiled myself
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